Category: Family

Advice/Tips, Family

Autism: IEP Process

cloepottorff

I’ve decided to share some IEP experience tips and give other parents an insight to what they should expect. 

  • First, be prepared to have many, many meetings so they can evaluate your child. We, personally, had 7 meetings before the final meeting.
  • Second, always remember that you are your child’s best and only advocate. Fight for what you feel your child deserves and needs.
  • Third, have support during this process. This could be your spouse, family member or friend. Makes decisions easier and takes the stress of pressure off of you. 
  • Finally, Don’t feel obligated to sign when presented with their IEP recommendation. You can take it home to “think” about it. I took it home and asked my sons pediatrician and other therapists what they thought and they all thought he should have more time. 

I just recently received the decision of what the school district is offering for my son. They are giving him 1 hr a week of group speech and that is it! I requested to take the IEP home and decide what I think. 

I am going to come back at them with the request for at least 2 hrs a week of individual speech and at least 1 hr a week of OT. 

Once they review my request, they will schedule another meeting and I will find out if they will be adding my request or if they don’t feel he needs the extra time. 

*I will post an update once we get the final decision.*


Please feel free to share some of your experiences or any comment or questions you have! 😁

Family

Autism Diagnosis: Still The Same Family

cloepottorff

As many of you may already know, me and my family have been dealing with developmental delays with Leo. Therapists and doctors kept going back and forth between it being just a delay to something more. I have always felt like there was something more than just a delay but moved on and waited for it to become clear. 


This past October, I finally got a clear answer from our neurologist on Leo’s situation. The diagnosis – autism spectrum disorder. I thought hearing a diagnosis would make me feel nervous or sad or fear but instead it was a huge sigh of relief and gave me more hope and determination to do what’s right for my lil boy. 

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This diagnosis didn’t change who he is or who we are as a family. This diagnosis doesn’t define him, it is just another part that makes him who he is. Finally having a direction to go with all the symptoms and behavior is comforting. Before, I felt like I was reaching in all directions hoping something would catch and work. Now, I am able to create a plan of action. I can decide what treatments he needs and get him going on the right path. 

I have a new sense of determination to get organized and get going with treatment to help him. The first thing I decided to give a try since it wouldn’t hurt, was to cut out dairy. From the time we cut it out, two days later his behavior had drastically changed. He was more manageable and more reasonable than before. He was more willing to try to talk and was doing better with his eating habits. We have had him off dairy for about three month now and the results have been well worth the change in diet. 


He is hitting three years old this January so he has been reviewed to be put into preschool to help promote his growth and social interaction. I have such high hopes for Leo but know that disappointments may come. I plan to keep updating this blog with new information on Leo and his journey with autism. 

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If anyone has questions or advice, feel free to send me a comment! I hope this motivates, inspires, and can help people dealing with situations similar to mine. 

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Family

Miscarriage: Born into Heaven

cloepottorff

I’ve decided to share my story of miscarriage. I feel it help with the healing process and let’s others know they are not alone when it comes to this experience. You may feel alone in the hurt you feel but there are so many other women out there going through the same thing each and every day. 

I’ll start at the beginning, when I found out I was pregnant. I was actually attending a wedding in Lake Tahoe when I felt all nauseous but I brushed it off as just a long drive there. However, the next day it was worse so I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. 

This was a stressful and very unexpected pregnancy but still a joy to us. Once we got back home to Orange County we started organizing for this pregnancy. 

At 10 weeks pregnant I had my check up with my OB/GYN and we listened to the heartbeat. Everything seemed to be going fine. Then on Tuesday, November 29th, I had my first ultrasound. During the ultrasound I felt a little uneasy because I couldn’t get a clear view of the baby and I wasn’t able to see the usual fluttering of the heartbeat. However, the ultrasound technician didn’t say anything and that was it. 


That evening however, I got a call from my doctor. I could tell from the start that something was off. But he finally broke the news to me, “the baby is not viable, we couldn’t find a heartbeat and there was some head abnormality.” My stomach sank but I kept my composure while we finished our conversation agreeing that a D&C was the best choice to handle this situation due to the age of the baby. Based on the size and development, they estimated the baby to be 13 weeks and 3 days when it passed away. 

Once I hung up the phone, all the emotions rushed and hit me full force. My husband came into the livingroom as the tears streamed down my face and came to my side, not knowing what was wrong. Just happened that my sister and mom were both there too and came over to comfort me as well. My husband gave us space to handle some of the emotions and came back for us to talk about what had happened a few minutes later. 

I had my mom call my side of the family to let them know what happened and my husband called his side of the family. The emotions were too raw for me to have to talk to anyone. 


The following two days seemed to take forever and bothered me knowing the baby inside of me had passed away. So when Friday came for me to have the procedure, it was almost a relief to know some of this journey was coming to a close. 

I was lucky enough to know my nurse, my anesthesiologist and of course my OB/GYN so I felt like I was in safe hands for this operation. They all kept me in a positive mood, even down to the last few seconds I remember before going under. Once I came to from the anesthesia, most of my pregnancy symptoms were gone and a feeling of emptiness filled me. 


An hour later, I’m heading home, acceptance and relief filled me knowing I could move forward from this. Knowing God has a plan and a reason for everything is comforting. I know nothing happens by accident and everything has a purpose. I may not see that purpose but Gods plan isn’t meant for me to understand. Plus, He has already blessed me with two wonderful children that I am so thankful to have. I am taking this opportunity to focus more on them and enjoy every moment I’m given in this life to live in each moment. I can’t turn back time so I don’t want to waste the time I’m given. 


I hope other women can learn and feel hope from this post. I hope everyone else has a little more understanding of the pain but I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. This is the life I was given and I have learned to love all that is thrown at you, even the bad. 


Times may get tough and this tragedy may surface the emotions again, but I won’t let this hold me back from enjoying every second with my family and being thankful for the life God has given me. This child that was taken too soon will never be forgotten. I may not got to hold them but they will forever be in my heart. However, I couldn’t ask for a better husband and children than the ones I have. 

Advice/Tips, Family, Opinion, Relationships

Marriage Tip #3 – Compromise

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Every couple comes to a point when both want different things. When we reach that point, we have three options:

  1. Argue your point and why it’s better
  2. Give in to what your partner wants
  3. Both of you compromise

To come to a compromise, both parties need to be willing to work together. It takes an open mind to consider the possibilities and self-sacrifice if you want to please your partner. Below are some basic steps to reaching a compromise:

  1. Start with the right tone. Don’t come off attacking or irritated. 
  2. Find a common ground. Don’t focus on what you and your partner disagree on but what areas you are similar. 
  3. Brainstorm some new ideas for you and your partner to decide on. 
  4. Be willing to change your mind. Sometimes changing your mind becomes the best decision and you love what you thought you never would. 

Some examples from my own life now to show areas where either my husband or myself has made a compromise. Let me first explain that me and my husband are complete opposites but we complement each other very well. 

  1. We have different tastes in music. I couldn’t stand his so he gave mine a chance. Now he loves the same music so there are no issues. 
  2. My husband loves computer games and I’m usually too busy to play them or care for them. He waits until the kids are asleep to play so he’s not leaving me when I need his help or want to get out. And I make sure to get the kids to bed early enough so he has time to play. 
  3. I love taking pictures of the things I love but always end up missing from them. My husband hates being in pictures. So he will ask others to take the picture for us so I am in them and he gets passed his annoyance of photos so I am happy with the photos we got. 
  4. My husband alway leaves his clothes in the bathroom and I used to continually ask him to bring it back to the room and put in a basket. Now we have a small clothes hamper in the bathroom and that’s pretty much always his clothes so no pre sorting. 

I know there are probably more but I can’t think of many cuz we have always found a solution. 


So, my advice to you is, don’t be so hardheaded that you won’t give the other persons perspective a chance but don’t be too passive that you become someone you’re not. 

Let me know in the comments of this helped you or seems to be true or not for you. 😊

Family, Opinion, Relationships

Found My Half Sibling

cloepottorff

For many people, finding a long lost relative can be challenging and an emotional journey. I have my own story that I’d like to share because it has been life changing. 

My biological dad has never been in the picture since I was about 2 years old. So when my mom was dealing with some issues she came across some information that didn’t make sense to her. Under my fathers name it showed he had two children. My mom looked up the other baby and found out I had a half brother a year and a half younger than me. So when I was three she found some information of the mother to the child. My mom worked at getting in touch with the boy’s mother and when she did, the other lady didn’t want us to contact them again because she was remarrying and didn’t want her son to know her husband wasn’t his father. 

Fast forward about 17 years, my mom and I are talking about getting in touch with him again because he would be 18 years old now. We didn’t know where to start, so I figured best bet would be a Facebook search. Entered his name and up came 6892 matches. This seemed like an impossible task but we decided we would take turns going through each profile looking for someone that possibly resembled myself. Hours passed and then days. On the third day, I got home from work and my mom is standing there smiling. “I think I found him!” My mom rushed me to the computer and showed me the profile she thought was it. I click on the profile picture and he is tall, thin and in a military uniform. It was like looking at a male version of myself. I think I found him. My mind was racing. 

I waited a full day before I took my chances and send a message to the guy I believed to be my half brother. It was a few hours before I received a response. He was so unsure of everything because he had never heard of me but he did know his father was not the one that raised him. So we talked for a few hours, sharing information and finally came to the conclusion that we were half siblings. I had found him!


This started our crazy but wonderful sibling relationship. We talk every single week and really want to plan meeting up. It has just been difficult since he is in the Air Force and I’ve got kids now. But we share so much in common and I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life now. 

So for anyone out there looking for someone, don’t give up hope. I thought it would be impossible but through some tough digging, it was accomplished. Perseverance is what makes miracles happen. 


Share your story below or let me know if you are looking for someone. 💜
By perseverance the snail reached the ark. -Charles Spurgon 

Family, Opinion, Relationships

Fathers Day 2016

cloepottorff

First and foremost, Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers and to the men that have stepped up to be one. I know some people might not have a good father figure but Father’s Day is to celebrate the man in your life that has filled that role and been there for you. I have a few people I’d like to personally thank. 

Great grandpa – Thank you for all that you did to raise us all right by teaching us the Word of the Bible. You were my number one role model and I am so proud of everything you have accomplished. Thank you for fighting for this country and risking everything for our freedom. You are a true hero and wonderful grandpa. Love you and miss you! 


Grandpa – Thank you for being my personal mentor when it comes to my faith. You are always there for me and willing to help. I love our random calls with each other and am so happy for the bond we have. Thank you also for being a great dad to my mom 😊


Dad – Thank you for raising me and being there for most of my life. I know things have gotten rough but I will always love you and am glad to call you my dad. 

Aaron – Thank you for being the best husband and father. I am so thankful to have someone by my side that loves our kids so much! The way Leo loves playing with you and somehow you always get Lexi to fall asleep when I can’t. You are so good to them and couldn’t ask for a better dad for my kids. I can’t wait for what our future holds. 


Comment below with who you would like to say happy Father’s Day to! 😊

Advice/Tips, Family, Opinion

Child At Heart

cloepottorff

Many people don’t know much about my kids and how my oldest inspires me each day. He has a developmental delay and has therapy five days a week – oh and by the way, he’s only 2!


When he was about 14 months old, I noticed some red flags in his behavior. I made a list of the behaviors and scheduled an evaluation. 

  • No eye contact
  • Tantrums
  • No functional play
  • No speech
  • Sensitivity to sounds
  • Sensitivity to textures
  • Waking all night screaming
  • Poor appetite
  • Emotionally unstable 


At the end of his evaluation, I was told he possibly could be autistic and my stomach dropped. Not from fear of what others would think of me but of the struggles he would have to face. I had been a helper in high school for a kid that was autistic and I had seen first hand the challenges. 

We discussed the options and agreed to start therapy to see if he would make improvements. So within a few weeks I got a call and they explained how therapy would work. 

Monday through Friday for two hours each day and these sessions would be at home since he was so young. He would also do occupational therapy for 1 hour a week at a clinic. 

When we first started therapy, in December, I was skeptical because he had a major stranger danger attitude and hated new people – especially if they were wanting him to do something. So he would throw tantrums for the whole 2 hour session. 

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Today, he fusses at the start for about 5 minutes but now works during session and has made bounds in improvements!

Now he makes eye contact, does functional play, stabilized his emotions and no more middle of the night waking. He is better with his sensory issues due to his occupational therapy. He is also trying to talk now by saying syllables and a few words here and there. 

A re-evaluation of his behavior shows little to no autism but a developmental delay only. I can keep working with him and therapy to get him up to par. 


Now, anytime I feel like something is impossible, I just look at my own little miracle cuddled next to me. If he can make efforts and improvements like that at only 2 years old then I think I can do anything. The power of a child’s determination, perseverance and strength motivate and inspire me to be the best I can be for my own children. 


Let me know what inspires you to be the best version of yourself! 😘

Family, Opinion

Flashback Friday #3 – Family Resemblance

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As we get older we start to notice resemblances we share with certain family members, whether or not we like it. Scrolling through photos on my phone, I realized how much Leo and I look like my mom and me when I was younger. 

Here is a photo of my mom and me. She is about 23 and I am about 3 years old. 


Now here is a photo of Leo and I today. I’m 25 and he is 2 1/2. 


It’s crazy seeing how much I have become to look like my mom and how I can look at my own son and see so much of me as a child. He is my mini twin. It is crazy to think, this little man is my baby and looks so much like but is his own person. 


Above is a photo of me on the left and Leo on the right. 

Leo may look like me but his personality it completely different from mine. We only share small characteristics. I love my family and wouldn’t want it any other way. I think it’s amazing to see genetics at work in a families resemblance to each other. 

Let me know if you or another family member share some major resemblances. And let me know what you think of the above photos 😉

Advice/Tips, Family, Opinion, Relationships

Marriage Tip #2 – Keep Dating

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Some people fall into a rut once they get married and the one thing I’ve learned to remember is, when you get married that doesn’t mean you stop dating. Before you get the wrong idea, just take a moment to think about it. 

By continuing to date your spouse, that means you don’t stop going on date nights, or doing the small cute things for one another like writing notes or doing small surprises. I’ve made a short list of a few keys to dating your spouse and what that means exactly. 

  1. Don’t forget the small things – All that means is to remember it’s the small daily things that show each and every day that you choose them as your love and appreciate them. That even means holding hands, just some small physical contact creates a strong bond. 
  2. Don’t forget to laugh – Getting to share moments of laughter really strengthen the bond in a relationship. It’s crucial to be able to laugh with someone and enjoy each other’s company. 
  3. Don’t forget to celebrate your love – Even if you aren’t into Valentine’s Day, it means so much to give a gift to your partner just to show you care and go out of your way for the other. 
  4. Try new things together – Whether that means new food or learning how to dance, it is always fun to feel the sense of adventure and brings you closer together as you learn something. 

All I’m saying is don’t lose your spontaneous, playful, meaningful and child-at-heart relationship with your spouse.