Life: Then and Now – 10 Year Challenge

Everyone has been doing the 10 year challenge on social media this past week. I don’t feel like a picture of 2009 self vs 2019 self does justice of all that has changed in my life over the past 10 years. I figured a bit more detail would really show how much life for me has evolved.


2009

  • I was going to college, taking GE
  • I was single
  • I was working at a restaurant as a server
  • Enjoyed staying out late
  • Living at home
  • Shy and trying to find myself

2019

  • I have 3 Associates Degrees, still working on my BA and eventually my MA
  • I’m married with three wonderful little ones
  • I am currently a stay at home mom
  • Enjoy my early evenings
  • Looking to buy our first house
  • Confident in who I am

I am so happy with how my life has gone. In these past 10 years, I have married the funniest, most loyal man and had three crazy and sweet kids. There is nothing I would change. The good, the bad; it all made me the person I am today and I would love it all again if it meant being right where I am now.

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Marriage Tip #2 – Keep Dating

Some people fall into a rut once they get married and the one thing I’ve learned to remember is, when you get married that doesn’t mean you stop dating. Before you get the wrong idea, just take a moment to think about it. 

By continuing to date your spouse, that means you don’t stop going on date nights, or doing the small cute things for one another like writing notes or doing small surprises. I’ve made a short list of a few keys to dating your spouse and what that means exactly. 

  1. Don’t forget the small things – All that means is to remember it’s the small daily things that show each and every day that you choose them as your love and appreciate them. That even means holding hands, just some small physical contact creates a strong bond. 
  2. Don’t forget to laugh – Getting to share moments of laughter really strengthen the bond in a relationship. It’s crucial to be able to laugh with someone and enjoy each other’s company. 
  3. Don’t forget to celebrate your love – Even if you aren’t into Valentine’s Day, it means so much to give a gift to your partner just to show you care and go out of your way for the other. 
  4. Try new things together – Whether that means new food or learning how to dance, it is always fun to feel the sense of adventure and brings you closer together as you learn something. 

All I’m saying is don’t lose your spontaneous, playful, meaningful and child-at-heart relationship with your spouse.

Marriage Tip #1 – Communication

Every couple will have disagreements or have something that is bothering them on their mind. Secret to a happy marriage and keeping your sanity- communication. 

This past weekend we spent hanging out with other couples with kids and we all talked about our problems. Mine was simple – finances. We are trying to save to buy a home in the next few years and working out a budget can be problematic. Both the other women didn’t have that problem but they had a more troublesome one, they were not agreeing in their marriages and have started counseling. Biggest issue, they didn’t know how to talk to their partner or didn’t want to talk to them. 

From day one with my husband we agreed to tell each other everything so that we had nothing to hide. Ever since we have kept to that and tell each other the good, the bad and all in between. It keeps a strong bond of trust and faithfulness but also shows respect for one another. We have learned that being able to talk about anything and everything really makes our marriage feel like a wonderful friendship because we listen and understand each other.

Learning to work together when it comes to disagreements has been the most valuable tool. Aaron, my husband, is a little hot tempered while I stay calm and collected. To make disagreements work, Aaron will step away to calm down and then come back to talk. We NEVER bad mouth the other person or insult them; this helps us avoid saying things you don’t mean and later regret. Most of the time we meet in the middle but sometimes one of us may have a valid argument that we eventually agree upon.

Listening is an important part of communication. My husband has had bad days and it’s my job to be there for him to vent. And I’m sure everyone has had a day that is emotionally draining and they just need to talk about how they are feeling. Aaron is wonderful at this; dealing with two pregnancies and my wild emotions, he has always be considerate of how I’m feeling. Not only that, but things that made me uncofartable at the beginning of our relationship, he listened and understood where I was coming from and has since changed to not do something that bothers me. So don’t just talk, but listen and be ready to give advice or a solution.

Lastly, no matter what mood you are in – happy, sad, frustrated or angry – we always say “I love you.” I’ve had moments when I’m upset with him but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him, so by saying those three little words, he can be sure I still care and makes me realize being upset isn’t worth it. If looking forward five years, this disagreement doesn’t make a difference – it’s not worth it.

I guess what I’m saying is talk about everything with your partner. Make them your best friend and be their best friend in return. Don’t hold grudges cuz they only create bigger problems and resentment. Life is short so choose to make happy memories over bad one, you can’t go back and change anything so work with what you got and move forward with that. I hope I’ve given y’all some insight to a key feature of a happy marriage.

Any questions or comments are welcomed, just comment below!

Thanks for reading and until next time ๐Ÿ˜‰

Love, Cloe

#marriedlife #communication #wisdomwednesday