ο»ΏPost-traumatic stress disorder from Abuse

In honor of PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) Awareness Month, I am writing from my own personal experience of abuse and the affects. This post does contain graphic content that may disturb readers. 


I was in a relationship in 2007 that, at the time, was an abusive relationship but I was not aware of it. He was abusive in multiple ways and I was so young that I didn’t see it as abuse.

He was emotionally/verbally abusive by isolating me from friends and family, blaming me, accusing me, threatening me and/or himself. 

I was financially abused by him controlling my money and when I could use it. 

He used social media and texting to cause digital abuse. He would degrade or threaten me and harass me when I wasn’t with him. Demanded access to all my social media and would go through my phone. 

He stalked me at work, and any time I would be without him, he had a friend watch me. 


When I finally got the courage to leave him, I knew it could go bad and warned coworkers. Once I got home and told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore, I saw the anger rise. This was the first time I had ever been physically abused in my life. He pinned me to the ground and I tried to deflect his punches but many made it past my arms. He knocked me out and he waited til I became conscious to tell me it’s my fault for him doing this. He asked if I was still going to leave and I said yes, the beating continued for about another 10 minutes with him screaming at me. He would yell things like “why would you leave me when I love you?”, “nobody will love you after me because you’re damaged”, “I’ll kill you before I see you with someone else”, and “you are making me do this.”

Coming up with a plan, I finally said I wouldn’t leave, knowing he had work that night. He left and said we would talk later. Once I saw him drive away I called a coworker who picked me up and all my belongings and took me to their home to stay. 

We filed a police report, took photos and visited a doctor. 

The results:

He never was caught. Found out he was an illegal and was hiding. 

I ended up with bruises covering my entire body, busted lip, bone bruises along my jaw, swollen esophagus, a fractured supraorbital arch (eyebrow bone), and PTSD. 


I’m not going to go into detail of my symptoms but I have complied a list of PTSD symptoms I developed. 

  1. Flashbacks and nightmares
  2. Insomnia 
  3. Anxiety 
  4. Numb to emotions 
  5. No self esteem 
  6. Constant headaches
  7. Negative self image 
  8. Hypervigilance


Today, I have moved so far from the struggles I faced then and have become a stronger person. 

What I struggle with today include momentary anxiety and moments of low self esteem. 

I am happy with the person I have become and took a negative and turned it into a positive. I rarely ever have this experience come up and have moved past it. It take determination and courage to push through. Putting my faith in the Lord is what really got me out of such a dark place. My husband and kids really have brought that chapter to a close and I am so thankful I get to enjoy every day with them!

Feel free to share your thoughts or share your story by commenting below. If you would like to share privately, my email is cloe.pottorff@gmail.com πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ

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Marriage Tip #2 – Keep Dating

Some people fall into a rut once they get married and the one thing I’ve learned to remember is, when you get married that doesn’t mean you stop dating. Before you get the wrong idea, just take a moment to think about it. 

By continuing to date your spouse, that means you don’t stop going on date nights, or doing the small cute things for one another like writing notes or doing small surprises. I’ve made a short list of a few keys to dating your spouse and what that means exactly. 

  1. Don’t forget the small things – All that means is to remember it’s the small daily things that show each and every day that you choose them as your love and appreciate them. That even means holding hands, just some small physical contact creates a strong bond. 
  2. Don’t forget to laugh – Getting to share moments of laughter really strengthen the bond in a relationship. It’s crucial to be able to laugh with someone and enjoy each other’s company. 
  3. Don’t forget to celebrate your love – Even if you aren’t into Valentine’s Day, it means so much to give a gift to your partner just to show you care and go out of your way for the other. 
  4. Try new things together – Whether that means new food or learning how to dance, it is always fun to feel the sense of adventure and brings you closer together as you learn something. 

All I’m saying is don’t lose your spontaneous, playful, meaningful and child-at-heart relationship with your spouse.

Summer Hacks

In honor of the start of summer, I have come up with a few hacks I’ve learned over the years that have saved me stress, money and/or time. Depending on where you live, they may not all apply but still good to know. πŸ˜‰

  • If you are like me, then you probably worry about leaving your valuables when you get in the water. Only since having kids, I use a new diaper. Put all your valuables in the clean diaper and roll up to look used. Nobody will ever touch it 😜
  • If you’ve ever been at the beach, then you know that feeling of dryness from the ocean mist. Use a spray bottle filled with green tea to spray on to keep yourself refreshed and moisturized. 
  • It can seem like as much as you try and dust off the sand, you never can seem to get it all off. Put baby powder on and then dust again, it all comes off. 
  • It’s annoying when sand gets in your  drink. Use press and seal on top and poke a straw through. 
  • Want to get tan faster? Going on a walk or swimming gets you more tan than laying out. The higher your heart rate, the faster you tan. 
  • Hate getting sand all over your car from the towels and toys? Bring grocery bags to put everything in.
  • Sunburnt? Use aloe vera gel or soaked tea bags to take the burn away. 
  • Want the ‘just been at the beach’ wavy hair? Mix together 2 cups of water, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 teaspoon coconut oil and 1 teaspoon hair gel


Well there you have it! Just a few simple tips for summer. Hope y’all enjoy your summer!!

Comment below with any other summer tip or what your summer plans are πŸ˜‰

    Marriage Tip #1 – Communication

    Every couple will have disagreements or have something that is bothering them on their mind. Secret to a happy marriage and keeping your sanity- communication. 

    This past weekend we spent hanging out with other couples with kids and we all talked about our problems. Mine was simple – finances. We are trying to save to buy a home in the next few years and working out a budget can be problematic. Both the other women didn’t have that problem but they had a more troublesome one, they were not agreeing in their marriages and have started counseling. Biggest issue, they didn’t know how to talk to their partner or didn’t want to talk to them. 

    From day one with my husband we agreed to tell each other everything so that we had nothing to hide. Ever since we have kept to that and tell each other the good, the bad and all in between. It keeps a strong bond of trust and faithfulness but also shows respect for one another. We have learned that being able to talk about anything and everything really makes our marriage feel like a wonderful friendship because we listen and understand each other.

    Learning to work together when it comes to disagreements has been the most valuable tool. Aaron, my husband, is a little hot tempered while I stay calm and collected. To make disagreements work, Aaron will step away to calm down and then come back to talk. We NEVER bad mouth the other person or insult them; this helps us avoid saying things you don’t mean and later regret. Most of the time we meet in the middle but sometimes one of us may have a valid argument that we eventually agree upon.

    Listening is an important part of communication. My husband has had bad days and it’s my job to be there for him to vent. And I’m sure everyone has had a day that is emotionally draining and they just need to talk about how they are feeling. Aaron is wonderful at this; dealing with two pregnancies and my wild emotions, he has always be considerate of how I’m feeling. Not only that, but things that made me uncofartable at the beginning of our relationship, he listened and understood where I was coming from and has since changed to not do something that bothers me. So don’t just talk, but listen and be ready to give advice or a solution.

    Lastly, no matter what mood you are in – happy, sad, frustrated or angry – we always say “I love you.” I’ve had moments when I’m upset with him but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him, so by saying those three little words, he can be sure I still care and makes me realize being upset isn’t worth it. If looking forward five years, this disagreement doesn’t make a difference – it’s not worth it.

    I guess what I’m saying is talk about everything with your partner. Make them your best friend and be their best friend in return. Don’t hold grudges cuz they only create bigger problems and resentment. Life is short so choose to make happy memories over bad one, you can’t go back and change anything so work with what you got and move forward with that. I hope I’ve given y’all some insight to a key feature of a happy marriage.

    Any questions or comments are welcomed, just comment below!

    Thanks for reading and until next time πŸ˜‰

    Love, Cloe

    #marriedlife #communication #wisdomwednesday