Letter To My Abuser

I still remember

That rainy, cold day

In late March.

A day that will forever

Haunt me.

β€’β€’β€’

I remember

Every heavy hand

That crossed my face.

The powerful fists

That cracked my bones.

β€’β€’β€’

I remember

The pain I felt

Pulsating through my body

As you forced me down

Against my will.

β€’β€’β€’

I remember

The fear

Of how far you might go

With all your rage.

As you threaten my life.

β€’β€’β€’

You have scarred

My life with so much pain.

A constant nightmare

That lingers in my mind.

β€’β€’β€’

So I write to you

As a reminder of all my pain.

You have left a mark

I will never

β€’β€’β€’

Never forget.

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Tips and Advice for Coping with PTSD

To conclude my series of PTSD Awareness Month, I’ve decided to write some tips for people dealing with PTSD – coping skills – and what you can do to help others with this issue by understanding components of PTSD. 

Part 1 – Dealing with PTSD

  1. Exercise – It will release endorphins and help you focus your thoughts. 
  2. Self soothe – Finding what calms you down will help when you really need to get back to what you were doing. 
  3. Connect – Find others who share the same struggle to connect with and help each other. 
  4. Self Care – Take time to relax, eat healthy, stay away from alcohol and drugs, get a good amount of sleep. 

Different things will help depending on what caused your PTSD. 

For abuse, writing out the whole traumatic experience will be difficult but is a great way to feel like you’ve moved past the event. 

For combat, connecting and seeking out some kind of counceling will help. Finding the right counselor is a big part of getting better. 


Part 2 – Supporting Someone with PTSD

  1. Don’t pressure – It can be difficult to express what exactly they are feeling or what they experienced. 
  2. Listen – Most of the time, someone dealing with PTSD need to talk about their issues. Help guide them with what to do by their cues. They may need to just talk about the event over and over again, other times they just need someone to hangout with that doesn’t pressure them. 
  3. Understand Triggers – This could include anniversary dates; people or places connected with the trauma; and even certain sights, sounds, or smells. By being aware of the triggers that may cause a reaction, you are better able to help and understand them. 
  4. It’s not Personal – Dont take certain behaviors personal like anger, irritatable or being closed off. Accept you may never fully understand what they are going through.
  5. Balance – Taking care of yourself and keeping a level head works wonders. Also, learning more about PTSD will help you to understand better. 


So I hope you can go out there and use these tips to help aid yourself or someone else deal with this issue. It can be difficult but with support and determination, you can accomplish a better life. 😊

Let me know if you found these to be helpful or if you have your own tip to add. Just comment below πŸ‘

ο»ΏPost-traumatic stress disorder from Abuse

In honor of PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) Awareness Month, I am writing from my own personal experience of abuse and the affects. This post does contain graphic content that may disturb readers. 


I was in a relationship in 2007 that, at the time, was an abusive relationship but I was not aware of it. He was abusive in multiple ways and I was so young that I didn’t see it as abuse.

He was emotionally/verbally abusive by isolating me from friends and family, blaming me, accusing me, threatening me and/or himself. 

I was financially abused by him controlling my money and when I could use it. 

He used social media and texting to cause digital abuse. He would degrade or threaten me and harass me when I wasn’t with him. Demanded access to all my social media and would go through my phone. 

He stalked me at work, and any time I would be without him, he had a friend watch me. 


When I finally got the courage to leave him, I knew it could go bad and warned coworkers. Once I got home and told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore, I saw the anger rise. This was the first time I had ever been physically abused in my life. He pinned me to the ground and I tried to deflect his punches but many made it past my arms. He knocked me out and he waited til I became conscious to tell me it’s my fault for him doing this. He asked if I was still going to leave and I said yes, the beating continued for about another 10 minutes with him screaming at me. He would yell things like “why would you leave me when I love you?”, “nobody will love you after me because you’re damaged”, “I’ll kill you before I see you with someone else”, and “you are making me do this.”

Coming up with a plan, I finally said I wouldn’t leave, knowing he had work that night. He left and said we would talk later. Once I saw him drive away I called a coworker who picked me up and all my belongings and took me to their home to stay. 

We filed a police report, took photos and visited a doctor. 

The results:

He never was caught. Found out he was an illegal and was hiding. 

I ended up with bruises covering my entire body, busted lip, bone bruises along my jaw, swollen esophagus, a fractured supraorbital arch (eyebrow bone), and PTSD. 


I’m not going to go into detail of my symptoms but I have complied a list of PTSD symptoms I developed. 

  1. Flashbacks and nightmares
  2. Insomnia 
  3. Anxiety 
  4. Numb to emotions 
  5. No self esteem 
  6. Constant headaches
  7. Negative self image 
  8. Hypervigilance


Today, I have moved so far from the struggles I faced then and have become a stronger person. 

What I struggle with today include momentary anxiety and moments of low self esteem. 

I am happy with the person I have become and took a negative and turned it into a positive. I rarely ever have this experience come up and have moved past it. It take determination and courage to push through. Putting my faith in the Lord is what really got me out of such a dark place. My husband and kids really have brought that chapter to a close and I am so thankful I get to enjoy every day with them!

Feel free to share your thoughts or share your story by commenting below. If you would like to share privately, my email is cloe.pottorff@gmail.com πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ